Charmed...
Or: why NOT to be an Enchanter in Norrath
Updated 23Mar1 15H30 EST (Quebec) by Acile
Yes, yes, after all I did not leave Norrath after I wrote that...
But I think that this little page deserves to stay on the site,
maybe as a warning to newbees enchanters...
A Gros' interview
of the sexiest charming elfett this side of Faydwer
Gros happy meet me kilt leedor.
Gros sad Azile going awooouuay.
I'm charmed too my big furrystuff.
And don't be sad, was fun and met a lot of friends...
I guess Enchanters are just doomed...
Me zink enzander being fun. Me vant be enzander. Me like changing tu frog.
Hum my bigbashingbro you may want to realy use BOTH your neurones
before deciding to go that way.
Enchanter is really a pain to be.
Me not zink zo. Grosbills told me ranzers, truids and pards zdink.
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey have invizipilidy.
Well speaking of invisibility, please do consider the following,
dear pachydermik but nevertheless sympathetic two-handed-slashing-item.
Invisibility never works when needed.
And you cannot be invisible to both living creatures and undeads.
Invisibility always wears off in the Throne room.
While invisible you cannot cast.
For an enchanter, That is pretty much saying you cannot do anything.
But since you are so scared you do not dare reappear,
so after while all your buffs go down,
and then you reappear...
And anyway looting makes you visible.
Especially looting your own previous corpse.
Which happens pretty often.
And obviously the one monster you really need to avoid
always sees through your invisibility.
But who am I to complain?
... At least I can go get corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey have root.
Well speaking of root...
By the time you have finally got one to pass the magic resistance of the mob,
you are either out of mana or too close for comfort.
And by the time you have meditate enough to be able to cast something...
well usually you have to re-root.
This can actually be fun until the mob resist once to many time,
and starts interrupting spells.
At that point I usually take my loc.
... At least I can go get corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey can azizt ze dank.
Well speaking of assisting...
That usually do not work because you have to change target
pretty much between each spells.
This is because you go from buffing you to buffing friends,
to buffing pet, to DoTing the healthy mob, to nuking the non-healthy mob,
to controlling the nearly there add, and charming the last one.
Usually you get messed upinthe middle and DoT your friends, mez yourself,
root your pet and nuke the biggest mob.
Which is cool since you then get to see it from up-close.
Which is very cool for taking pictures of mobs.
At that point I usually pass on auto-attack to see the damage of a Crude Stein.
And then I can check whether the tanks have improved their taunt skill,
so I can make fun of them when I'll be back to get corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey can Dajan ze mob.
Well speaking of tashan...
Actually it is pretty cool to avoid making too much damage too fast,
which definitively would make the tanks jaleous.
And worse, you could actually kill something.
So indeed mobs are resisting enough so that you need to pass 2 or 3 tashans,
before you can actually cast and do anything.
Of course by the time you have fizzled enough to get 3 tashans in, mana is gone...
Well it's not totally in vain since Tashan is an overtaunt.
So at least you are sure you gonna get a new set of mob pictures.
And all the time needed to upload them to the Web while you get back to corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey can Nuke ze mob.
Well speaking of nuking...
By the time you get to the level to get the spell,
usually the fifth attack of the tank does more damage.
And by the time the casting actually ends,
you no longer have a target if your tanks are motivated.
Well being honest it's not totally true.
Usually casting ends fast...
It's called interruption and does not really nuke that much.
But let's admit it it's nice to do 10-12 damage.
Which is when the mob did not totally resisted the spell.
But as I said earlier it's not totally in vain since, even when resisted,
the nuke is an overtaunt.
And it's cool to at least have some way of doing damage while you get back to corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey can ToT ze mob.
Well speaking of damage over time...
Yes yes we have all that nice kitting strategy.
That makes DoT a must in your basket. DoT is so fun.
DoT the mob, follow fight.
Fight turns bad, mez the adds, nuke the mob, wait for the ranger to shout "RUN".
Ranger in bad shape, mob turns to you, then ranger shouts "RUN".
Which is actually a good advice since now that you are at contact,
just forget about gating.
And now who is the lucky enchanter after whom the DoTed mob will run?
Because as soon as everybody runs, DoT is the only taunt the mob will have.
So they ultimately will always select you asthe best target.
But DoT is really cool since the mob can actually die later,
and you get some of the xp back without doing anything
while you are on your way back to corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey get bet.
Well speaking of pets...
First you have a pet providing you have Tiny Daggers,
which you can only get in 4 or 5 places in Norrath.
And a single pet uses 3 or 4,
well unlessyou try toget a pet that cons anything else than green,
because then you have to make 5 or 6 tries.
Which is a full stack of Tiny Daggers.
Now since you spend your time running to zone,
or gating if you are lucky,
you have to recreate your pet pretty much between each fight.
Meaning you need stacks of stacks of Tiny Daggers,
at least if you want to camp anything.
Now you need backpacks to carry that and the whole thing starts to add up.
But you may be young enough to believe that,
because they do not weight much, you can carry a lot.
Get back from your Ogre vision of the world Gros:
carrying a lot is a foreign concept for an Enchanter.
Unless of course you agree to be encumbered,
and forget about running,
which is an interestning trade-off you will have plenty of time to review,
on your way back to corpse....
Put betz are wouuuay kul.
Zey brodekd ze Enzander.
Yes yes they do protect finally.
Well heu... providing they decide to do so...
Because as everyone knows, Enchanters do not control their pet.
Which is really fun since you need to get hurt
for the pet to start doing something about it.
So either the pet does not help at all the fight,
well at least as long as all the tanks are gone or running,
then when all mobs are looking for the next target,
the pet will usually make sure they do not forget you.
Either you need to get a mob to smash you early enough in the fight,
so that the pet really starts helping the others.
Now since your dolly-puppet does just a little less damage,
than the dual-wielded-secators of the ranger,
you have to rely on spells to taunt...
And as I said earlier you can process the difference,
between taunt and overtaunt that is,
on your way back to corpse....
Put betz are wouuuay kul.
Zey zave ze Enzander'z live.
It's true I'm not fair to my dear pets who saved my life so many times...
Especially against those mobs that he had pulled themselves.
Ah yeah because that's the real pleasure of the Enchanter pet.
He has his own life. He likes hunting on his own.
Especially Dvynn, Dornn, Gix, and all those nice names...
Which is cool because it's really for the fun of the hunting...
You see, if you win, there is 3 options:
Either you realize that the pet pulled something green,
and you have just vaporized your mana on a green mummy,
that just gave you rabies as a loot.
Either you realize that the pet pulled something your level,
and you feel great vaporizing your mana on a black skeleton
(although you know their is no valuable loot on that mob,
but you have been trying to teach that to the pet since so long...),
well of course you won't get xp either,
since the pet will do just enough damage,
and will mage sure to get the final blow...
Either you realize that the pet pulled something really red,
on your way back to corpse....
But you get used to the pet,
they are nice when they are babies...
and that's cool because they tend to never grow old...
Did I mention that after having been attacked by the pet,
and having lost precious time reducing it to ashes,
Griffins usually seek the pet Master?
Anyway you need plenty of time to study pets,
and if you have that time you learn the rules,
like rule 1: "if you are out of mana, pet is pulling",
rule 2: "if you med, pet is pulling",
rule 3: "if it shouldn't be pulled, the pet will pull it",
rule 4: "if you recall pet, next mob will jump you",
rule 5: "if you need pet, you are out of Tiny Daggers",
rule 6: "if pet dies, you die",
rule 7: "if pet pulls, pet dies",
and so on...
Good thing you will have all the time needed to study pets
on your way back to corpse....
Although, strangely you do not have pet then
(on your way to corpse that is)...
You see, Tiny Daggers tend to never be sold where you are bound.
Which is OK anyway since you wouldn't have the money anyway.
But as I said you get used to the pet,
as I said they are nice when they are babies...
which is always the case anyway,
since to get a grown-up one you need to buy the spell in HighPass,
where it's pretty hard to get corpse...
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey Mez.
Well speaking of Mezmerize...
Yes it can work and actually can control the mobs and adds.
Tanks really like it because they like killing things in order.
Tanks are organized fellows that like killing, looting, winning experience.
Now Mez helps you only is you are not alone.
But yes in a group that can help....
Providing the tanks actually listen to what you say,
and don't taunt the mezzed guy.
But being honest after a while they get that.
Hum they may even get it too well....
See what's fun with mez is that everybody forgets the add,
the one that is just wandering around behind the trees,
waiting for mez to wear off.
So when you get out of mana having Tashaned and DoTed
everything less than 10 feet away,
and mezzed everything more than 10 feet away,
usually a fun scenario occurs...
You start meditating with the warm feeling to have done your part,
the less-than-10-mobs start running away,
tanks run after them since there is no more danger around,
then mez wears off...
No really Mez if fun,
it's a spell that you can actually cast on yourself...
Did I already said you usually end up messing up your targets
during fight since you have to change so often?
Ah yes of course you cannot cast while mezzed,
I have to find a idea about that
on my next way back to corpse....
Well anyway what can you expect from a low level spell...
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zeyr zbells evolves viv dime.
Well speaking of higher level spells...
For example, luckily Mez comes with a revenge at higher level: Mezmerization.
And that my friend is a real fun. It's an Area of Effect Mez...
Do I need to say more?
Now I can in one single spell achieve all the following:
overtaunt all the mobs, mez my pet, mez myself, mez my whole group,
and make sure that the one mob that will resist only sees me!
Good thing while mezzed you can still change the display of the screen,
so you can get rid of the names, move to high-definition,
zoom, look up to the giant, and take the pic...
And you will have all the time needed to return to your normal display
on your way back to corpse....
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey are olwouuuays velgom in krubs.
Well that's true, groups like us.
And us, ... well anyway we have no choice it's group or die.
So that is cool, you follow group...
Then group goes dungeon...
And you start taking notes so you can find your way back to corpse...
Put tunjons are wouuuay kul.
Zey gife egzberienz.
Well dungeons...
Dungeons are nice and provide for a change.
In dungeons you cannot afford to call pet,
unless you really want to pull everything at once,
everyone sees through your invisibility,
there is no safe place to meditate,
mobs jump directly on you,
you never have time to gate,
Area of Effect spells will bring mobs you didn't even know existed,
and the Ogre in the doorway will provide an interestning twist on
finding your way back to corpse...
But honestly you right dungeons give experience...
Like nothing compares to this fantastic feeling
of calm and loneliness,
that only the darkest dungeon can provide,
when all tanks went running after the fleeing mobs.
Or this marvelous feeling of adventure when someone shouts
"Train at Zone" while your are midway back to corpse...
with your spells not memorized yet.
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey get charm.
Well speaking of Charm...
Yes it's true it's great to finally have a pet you control.
Go fetch sandwich pet, scratch my back and all the rest.
Of course it's too short,
because you need to make sure it won't survive the next fight.
Else it will turn on you
with such an overtaunt that even the Paladin can forget it.
And did I mention that if you have a charmed pet,
well you can't have your regular pet to protect against the other one.
So you will see how your charmed creature really loves you from really close.
Well I guess I already mentionned that interrupted spells
are not really helping you that much...
But yes a charmed Sand Giant is something to enjoy.
Providing you find an other one fast enough to get them to play catch.
Hopefully you will have zoned before the end of the fight,
if not you will discover than even if your Giant ends up wining it,
it won't really give you any xp or any time to loot.
Unless maybe if you are fast enough on your way back to corpse...
Put enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey get preeze.
Well speaking of Breese...
Yep that gives you friends and money.
No question that's the best thing that can happen to you.
Rule 1 of the Enchanter: "Sit on the docks, sell breese".
Rule 2 of the Enchanter: "Breese yourself so you can sell more breese".
Rule 3 of the Enchanter: "Look at the others killing stuff, just breese".
Rule 4 of the Enchanter: "Create breese button".
Rule 5 of the Enchanter: "Breese is good, you can even breese on way back to corpse".
Oki nothing is as boring as breesing but at the end you can make money.
Well not really because usually you trade breese for Spirit of Wolf.
Which is cool as it greatly reduces the time it takes to get back to corpse...
Put iou atmid id.
Iou get blad.
Well speaking of Money...
Yes ultimately you get some.
Well, that is unless you actually want to cast spells,
and need to buy them.
But hey, with the 127 bubs it's gonna take you to raise 4 levels,
you should be able to get enough plat by then to pay for the spells...
Well, that is unless someone expects you to start Jewel Crafting...
Yez dad's drue, enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey make ziouvels.
Well speaking of Enchanting and Jewel Crafting...
That is just the hardest most expensive and depressing trade skill of all.
But yes ultimately you get to do a nice ring.
That maybe you can sell for half the price it cost to do,
not counting all the failed tries,
to a nice guy that just buys it because he feels bad for you.
Since anyway by the time you get to succeed in making that ring,
the standard loot of the nearest green mob is actually more valuable.
But well you can put your production in the bank,
so you will have some sexy bracelets on you rather than being totally naked,
during your next way back to corpse...
Actually at some point the rings can be magical and can help you...
Well for that you need to be able to enchant the metal.
Now you would believe that enchanters can naturally enchant?
Tell that to the guys in dark-elfs city from whom you have to buy the stuff.
Did I mention you tend to be KOS there?
Put az iou zait.
Iou can loot.
Well speaking of Loots...
Have you ever tried to loot faster than the tank,
knowing that if you are still alive by loot-time,
it's usually because you are way back from the fight,
or medding your mana back,
or maybe plain running,
it not luckily gated away?
Point is, you are usually in the middle of a casting when the mob falls.
And as I explainede arlier usually targetted on some other mezzed mob.
So just forget being the first to loot.
Unless you just spend the whole fight looting.
After all you may create less mess that way,
than if you try to cast anything that you believe useful.
Anyway after having looted just one bronze you may as well go home.
You just cannot run anymore.
So actually maybe the best way then is just use yourself as a backpack.
Keep looting, die (that is usually easy),
go back to corpse (by now you should be very used to handle that part),
and drag fully loaded corpse back to merchant.
I am not kidding, actually, naked, you can run...
No neet run.
Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey get gate.
Well speaking of Gate...
Did you know Gate actually only takes hold on a flat surface?
But anyway let's say you only fizzle a couple of times,
your Gate holds, and the mob miraculously misses you 25 times.
Which is the average luck you need to have,
due to the tremendous casting time.
Usually you gate to an other zone,
so forget about xp, loot, pet...
Forget the group also, gate only takes you away
(did I mention life is just not cool out of the group?).
So your way back gonna look like a way back to corpse,
well with no corpse at the end.
But yes you survive...
Now it happens that you gate to the same zone.
That is even more fun because now you have lost full track,
you know the mobs will come to get you,
you have no clue where the group is running,
you know your pet is pulling more towards you,
you know pet will die before you even know where it was,
and usually after gate you are very low in mana.
No I must admit this is just a hypothesis scenario.
But the time ranger shouts "run" at the end of the fight,
anyway you don't have enough mana to Gate so...
Might as well have bound yourself at the fight site...
much easier to do the way back to corpse.
Drue: Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
Zey can pint anywooouayr.
Well speaking of Binding...
What good does it really doto you to be bound far from the tanks?
Just think of it... bound... away ... from the group.
And don't even expect me to say that it's cool...
because it reduces the way back to corpse.
It doesn't... think of it you have to get back...
naked... without tanks...
Tanks will come back through three zones.
You will make three tentative comebacks through the same one.
Good thing you will usually finally get to corpse in synch.
You have just lost three times the xp... but who cares...
Actually binding is nice becauseit can reduce travels,
like you can gate back from a specific quest or adventure,
well providing you don't die...
Hum let me reformulate,
providing you don't have anything on you that you care to recover.
Which may happen since anyway you cannot carry that much...
Tond say dad.
Enzanders are var vrom peeing dodalee naket.
Actually playing naked all the time is the best for an Enchanter:
you do not lose that much AC,
you do not lose that much melee damage,
you do not lose that much spells requiring components
(like you don't get pets but is it really a loss?),
you definitively can run,
you can pretend you are a monk or a newbee
so people will stop bothering you for a breese,
you look so poor some may even spare a pp,
you look so weak tanks may actually start to defend you,
you win so much time not having to get back to corpse,
and you look way sexier on all those pictures,
from all those travels...
Drue: Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
You can drafel anywoouuuayr.
Well speaking of Travels...
Because Enchanters are supposed to be able to go everywhere,
through Alliance and other Illusions,
someone made sure we had to.
Any Enchanter quest pretty much ask you to travel the world twice.
Which could be OK if you could just get there,
take the object you want,
and just gate back.
Now to do that you must assume...
that you are not gonna die while crossing some 20 zones.
Well OK realistically you gonna go naked,
die 3 or 4 times because you are naked,
always gate back to start and retry,
but good thing you won't have to get those corpses back,
and ultimately complete the quest.
Well ... unless the quest involves actually bringing something somewhere.
And pray for this thing to weight less than a Tiny Dagger.
Did I mention that Enchanters do not get Port, SoW...
or anything that would speed up travels?
So well we just run encumbered... so what... others do...
And if you get jumped, just aim at the zone...
Now believe me, don't lose time trying to estimate whether you can make it to zone,
whether you have time to Gate, or to Mez, or go Invisible, or ...
you have no time, just run!
If really you want to evaluate your chances to reach a certain zone,
with less AC, less HP and less Agility than everyone else,
keep that for when you will have time to calculate....
on way back to corpse.
Drue: Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
You hafe illuzeunz.
Well speaking of Illusions...
That is way cool you are right.
For naked pictures I mean.
Although as long as prostitution is not recognized as a trade skill,
I'm not sure it actually gives any real benefit.
No it's fun to be a Tree in a dungeon or a Troll in Frogcity.
And you get to slam mobs with a crude stein,
or regenerate the few HP you have.
Now of course in the middle of all that fun,
you gonna get KOS with half of the world...
But that won't really decrease your life expectancy. From where it stands...
Cool thing is you tend to forget what you look like,
and end up speaking Ogre as a halfling,
hopefully local guards tend to remind you who you look like.
And they make sure you get back to your real look fast.
Nice twist is when invisibility wears of in a city,
and you just happen to still look like a dark-elfett below.
OK I said it earlier,
cool think is you can pretend you are a naked Iksar monk.
Well if you ever get the spell...
Put Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
You kan zbezializ.
Well speaking of Specialization...
I wish I could understand what it does...
Maybe I'll surf the web on that during my next way back to corpse...
Put Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
You kan rezeurtch zbellz.
Well speaking of Research...
That actually is quite fun collecting,
all those nice little pieces of Parchemins...
You can trade and make friends.
Ultimately they can turn into spells.
But their main purpose is really have fun with inventory.
After all, you are a scientist, you need to do some maths.
Problem: you have 8 slots in inventory.
Cannot really carry more than 2 bags.
Need stacks of stacks of Tiny Daggers.
And bat wings for Levitate.
And whatever for Rune.
And food and water because you cannot conjure or forage.
And room for jewelry book and jewel bag and metals and jewels.
And room for research book and parchemins...
Not a problem actually since you really don't care looting anything.
There is pretty much no magic item of interest for enchanters...
And if there was, you wouldn't really want to carry it on you...
You see sometimes you just cannot find the way back to corpse...
Hum Hum maypee, put in zeent, Enzanders are wouuuay kul.
You zimbly can kazt zbellz.
True and being a caster is so fun.
Who cares about AC, HP, weapons, SoW, quests, loots, money or even xp anyway...
Caster is just so cool.
Such a choice of things you can do...
Well hum not at the same time.
Because you see all the nice stuff you want to do,
like levitate on top of the maze in Unrest,
and try nuking from there,
well even if you get the mana to do it,
you won'thave the slots.
This one is even funnier than the inventory problem:
you can only memorize 8 spells.
Looks like a lot? Well let's see.
First you must survive,
well at least reduce the number of corpse travels.
Like it or not, it means you have absolutely no choice,
you cannot afford at any time not to have in memory
Breese, Shielding, Cloud and Gate.
So before you even start selecting spells you would like,
you are reduced to 4 slots.
First conclusion:
there is no way you can have both your travel spells
and your combat spells
on line at the same time.
Which means when you travel you cannot fight.
Repeat: "when you travel you cannot fight".
That explains a lot of zone running and corpse finding...
Tont pelieve iou.
Iou neet drafel zbellz?
Well big muscular meat-compressor, let me explain:
If you want to travel, you need at a very minimum Bind and Invisibility.
So you can bind at each zone and repeatedly get corpse back until you cross zone.
And since you are always encumbered,
you pretty much must have Quickness and Strengthen.
That's it you have your 8.
Note that nothing in all that can in anyway harm or even slow a mob.
Rule: "An Enchanter does not travel,
an Enchanter runs while the mob is beating up is back and prays for the zone!"
Did I mention that the first skill you learn as an Enchanter
is Sense Heading and how it relates to location?
Loc has a very important double purpose:
Loc Zone and Loc Corpse.
Zo Enzanderz zey tond fighd?
Oh yes fortunately - or unfortunately - we do fight.
Well providing you had time to switch your travel spells.
Now fighting is even more fun.
Remember I already have Breese, Shielding, Cloud and Gate in mind,
and 4 more slots.
We need Tashan (else anyway the other spells will be resisted).
One DoT (like Choke). One Nuke (like Sanity Warp).
And Mezmerize obviously else the tanks will complain.
Of course it would be nice to also have Root or Ensnare, Conjure Pet or Charm,
Color Flux, Memory Blur or Mezmerization, Rune, Levitate, Chase the Moon,
Cancel Magic or Endure Magic, Berserker Strength, or other Feckless Might
to make the fight a little more fun but - guess what - no slots!
Now you can always try to change spells during the fight.
If you like adventure.
Or you can try to switch Breese for Charm,
believing no one will ask for Breese for 5 minutes
while you try to get a charmed pet.
You can try...
But usually you end up having fun with these new spells
you never had the opportunity to try,
only when you get a little time for yourself far from the fights.
Like during your way back to corpse....
Grrr Azile nod fun.
Azile jusd comblaining.
But no my dear Grosbill.
I am not complaining.
Why should I? As we all know, rangers, druids and bards
are the ones we should take care of because they are so weak and pitiful.
And it's true, look at them, they are always the ones crying "Run!".
We don't.
Enchanters are not afraid to confront the mobs.
That's because we now how to get back to corpse....
Just kidding.
But I just want to give some advice to would-be Enchanters:
Wait until you have really enjoyed the game,
playing every other class in the world,
and getting all the money you can get,
before starting an Enchanter.
Don't do Jewel Craft,
find a friend to work that part and just Enchant the metal.
Make sure you can play at least 50 hours a week,
so you can raise as fast as your friend.
Kill willowisps.
And since pretty much that's all you can kill,
make a living selling Lightstones.
Take pictures, that's a good way to enjoy travelling back to corpse.
But most important,
if there is one thing that,
all that been said,
will make your life in Norrath the funniest time ever,
it is creating your own Guild.
Because for as weak and frustrating an Enchanter could be,
there is one thing playing an Enchanter will give you in Norrath:
TIME!
And a lots of, during all these corpse retrievals.
And if you have your own Guild.
With the funniest nicest members ever.
You will just wish you had more corpse retrieval time to chat with them.
I did that.
I met the best adventurers ever.
And they made my Enchanter life in Norrath the best Enchanted time ever.
To all the Froggies.
Last Charming Kisses from Acile.
